Of Sydney and Spirit Soaring

Do I start all my blogs with "So,"? I can't remember. Perhaps it's time to break a likely inexistant habit.

I leave for Sydney in a few hours, the home of Bridges, Britain and Bliss N Eso. I'm getting as excited as I do, just waiting around not doing anything and hoping the hour comes sooner.

I find myself these days being a little... normal. I don't get as excited as I used to, I don't show my feelings like I used to and I don't have as much fun as I used to.

I'm hoping to 'find myself' in Sydney, maybe if I go to the town of my favourite Hip Hop/Rap group I'll be inspired to live life large again.

In fact, as I write this I find myself getting more and more anxious to leave. I'll take my video camera and see what happens.

Stay Gold.

As the River flows

It's not much, but not much can turn into a little. A little to a lot. A lot to a noticing. A noticing to a job. A job to a career. A career to inspire others to create not much.
So here's the first verse, half a chorus and start of the second verse of a rap I wrote today:

Left high school as a drama queen,
18, moved to Sydney she was new on the scene.
With a lean mean figure,
She found love in a Digger*,
But that handsome young man turned out to be a sinner.
A month goes by, they always fight, she's always losing.
Her hands are tied, her lips are tight, covered in bruises.
He snoozes, she grabs her bag and jumps a train,
She might be young and dumb and vuln'rable, but nothing's worth that fucking pain!

I don't know where she's from,
And I don't know where I'm going.
But if the weather is willing,
And the river is flowing
We can continue our growing,
From now until forever,
I'll be yours if you be mine
And we can stand up together.

She contemplates, life and all it's mysteries,
Sits next to me, and starts to tell me her life history.
"It comforts me," She says....

That's all I've written so far, but I'm determined to write more as it comes to me. Hell, I may even design the music for it myself, nothing too fancy, a beat, a chorus tune.

*Digger = Australian Soldier (please note, most Australian Soldiers, I'm sure, are wonderful men and women)

Of Death Defying and Freedom

"Because I could not stop for death,
He kindly stopped for me.
The carriage held but just ourselves,
And Immortality" - Emily Dickens

"It's not death if you refuse it" - James O'barr

Recently I've been thinking about how the general population of modern day teens interprets the world. I'm not sure about this, so correct me if I am wrong, but they all seem to think they each own it? Think for a second, when a boy doesn't like a girl the way she likes him, she "fucks her life"? And if a guy doesn't get sex on the first date, he's whipped? I'm finding it hard to understand how so much negative energy is propelled through such young and not-so-world-weary beings.

I'm 16, I know, and I had my problems with growing up for a year or so but looking back I had nothing compared to the teens after me supposedly have. It seems a small percent of the population wants to be alive. And not just breathing and eating and farting and drinking and again, but to LIVE! Be a LIVE person! This is what I'm doing, living. Making the most of every day, chasing my dreams (however far fetched) enjoying every breathing, blinking moment as though (and how cliche...) it were my last.

I refuse death. For now at least, until a time when I'm old and grey. Between the time where my family has grown up and where I'm just waiting to die. Please, never let me reach the stage where I'm waiting to die...

Also, Bliss N Eso is my favourite band. Of all time, I've bought two of their CDs and one of thier DVDs so far this year, which is more than I can say for any other musician in my life. They speak of freedom constantly, either directly through their lyrics, or indirectly through how much fun they have (being ALIVE!) just being themselves.

Makes me want to spread my proverbial wings and take proverbial flight.

Also, yesterday I spent a most wonderful day with my most wonderful girlfriend, Tori Weilandt. We had a grand day, although we did very little. When afternoon came I met her mother and brother for the first time and, although I wanted to make a good first impression, I felt for once that I could just be myself. I've come to the conclusion that there is no one else I can possibly be and that if people can't accept me for who I am, then I can't accept them for that. I don't need people who think I'm someone else in my life, what's the point? Being around the people who accept you for who you are is, in my opinion, love. And that, my friends, is freedom.

Stay True. Stay Gold.

Christmas, New Years and a Revoluted Resolution.

So I've noticed I haven't updated this silly blog thing since last year. (Oh, that joke never gets old, it sounds like it's been a year when really it's only been a few weeks... Gets 'em every time.) Anywho, Christmas has come and gone, New Years rolled around uneventfully and my resolution is to just keep on keeping on.

Christmas:
"It's the most, wonderful time of the year" apparently. This year, we'd had rain and cold days all the way leading up to it, and it felt more like a Christmas in July party. However, it was another christmas with family, which is nothing to complain about, a day spent with loved ones is a lovely day. The present tally is as follows:
A new Silver Lorus watch
Call of Duty: Black Ops
2 x Jack Reacher books
A Woody Doll
A Camping Chair
Boggle
2 Framed Portraits (Batman + Joker from The Dark Knight)
Family Guy - It's A Trap!
A 'BAM' belt buckle
A Superman shirt
Two skull shaped picks
Two Jay Jays shirts
New Playboy deoderant
New computer
A writing pen
Three CDs - Bliss N Eso's "Day of the Dog" and "Flying Colours" and Hilltop Hoods' "The Calling"
Flying Colours Live DVD by Bliss N Eso
And enough money to get my eyebrow pierced, which we'll get to later.

New Years:
Possibly what every teenager looks forward to most in the wind down of the year, the New Years Eve parties. However this year I spent it on my couch, bitching about how bored I was to the folks playing Black Ops' Zombies with me at 1:30 am. Such is the exciting way the equally amazing year ended.

Since then:
Very little has happened with me since New Years rolled around. That was, until yesterday. I had been booked in at Hairhouse Warehouse to get my eyebrow pierced. That went well, I don't understand how people can pass out from getting pierced... Anywho. Afterwards I picked up some CDs from JB Hi-Fi and met up with a very good friend of mine. We discussed everything whilst she chowed down on some Cold Rock Ice Cream, from the mysteries of life to films and music. Then we went for a walk to the walkway bridge. There we saved the souls of the drivers who passed under us, simply by smiling and waving. Then we had to go our separate ways, but both content with the fun we'd achieved through doing very little.

Here's a pic of my piercing:

Of Superheroes and Wonderwomen

So it's been far too long since I've updated the ol' Blog for my two loyal followers, one of which happens to be my beautiful girlfriend Tori Weilandt, but I'll get to that later.
Two weeks have nearly passed since I've made a post and many many things have happened in those two weeks. First of all, I graduated year 10 at Billabong High on 9th December 2010. This brought about a realisation of change for me. First of all I realised that the friends I have made and developed over the past four years may all rot and fall from beneath me, the best will stay, the rest will crumble. Secondly, I realised this will most likely be my last holidays in my hometown of Culcairn. I'll be moving into North Albury as of April next year and I can't wait. The third of the changes that would occur to me would be completely and respectably sober, to shit-faced drunk over a period of 12 hours. How exciting! I loved spending the night with my equally blind friends, didn't quite so enjoy the next morning when the room spun and my head imploded.
In the time it's taken me to blog up, I've also found an appreciation for Comic Books. Namely one by James O'Barr called; The Crow. A man is killed on the eve before his wedding (and Halloween) after being forced to watch his murderers rape and kill his fiancee. One year later the Crow brings him back from the dead to seek revenge on the ones who destroyed all hope inside him. Okay, I admit I saw the movie first (you may have heard of it? Martial Art's legend Bruce Lee's son was killed on set) but I've done my research and have hunted down the original comic book and it is on its way in the mail as I type. The second installment, The Crow: Dead Time, has arrived and been read twice in a day.

Me dressed up as The Crow/Eric Draven

I'm also looking into Hellboy comics.
Whilst on the subject oof comic books and movies (kinda), I wish to share with you something I have mixed emotions about. For my 15th birthday I took a group of friends and my dad to see Watchmen. This felt like a disappointing movie at the time. It took so long to go nowhere and there was not enough action to keep me satisfied. However I thought visually it was brilliant and the story was well thought up. A very depressing story at that but still a great story. Recently I went to the nearest library (with books newer than 1950) and found the graphic novel. As I read through it I noticed that the film was (as far as I read) frame for frame the same as the novel. I found this astounding and have now rented the film again, which I will watch tonight, to try and appreciate further than my disappointment let me the first time.

Who watches the Watchmen?

Another depressing movie, which I watched for the first time today, is Donnie Darko. Now, when people ask me what it's like and what it's about, it's a very very difficult movie to describe. So I do it thus, "It's about a young man, played by Jake Gyllenhall, who suffers with mental problems and is obsessed with Time Travel." And that's about as far as I can go with it. I've watched it once and don't quite fully understand it. Perhaps when I IMDb it or watch the special features I'll understand it more but for now, I've got no idea. If you're in the mood for a feel good coming-of-age movie, don't choose this one folks.

I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

So I made an embarrassing post a while back claiming that there was a girl who gave me "jiberries". This was a word we came up with to describe the butterflies in your stomach when you think about someone. Well since then I've gone out with said girl (Tori Weilandt) and am now in a relationship with her. She makes me happy beyond belief.
I'm sure there's something I'm forgetting that's happened in the past week, but here's the low down for today:
I woke up at about 11 am at my friend's house and watched Heath Ledger's last film; The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Then I packed up my crap and went home. Got home and got bored, very quickly. So I threw on Donnie Darko and was kinda freaked out by it, not to mention depressed by it. At 8 pm I saw Carl Barron perform at the Albury Entertaining Arts Centre. Was a wonderful show and I laughed the whole way through it.


Thanks for reading folks, not much of a conclusion tonight but hey, I'll leave you with this quote from The Crow:

Nothing is trivial

My Cods!

This weekend my family and I usually head to a twon called Mulwala, situated beside the Lake Mulwala. Every year at this time is a competition held, it's called the Lake Mulwala Cod Classic. This is where fisherman from all over come to Lake Mulwala to attempt, most times dismally, to catch a Murray Cod which is famous to the region. We didn't go this year.
Instead of heading south, we travelled north. Past Gundagui to a place called Burrinjuck Lake. Here, apparently (and more noticeably), is famous for it's Murray Cod too. The plan was to stay here from Friday through to Sunday and see what we could catch.
On Friday, Dad and I fished for close to 7 hours and he was in the lead with a pathetic Redfin and two undersized Cod (less than 60 cm). I went back to our cabin empty handed.
On Saturday however, I slept. I slept until 11 am. Everyone was on the water fishing, whilst I lazed around the cabin, reading, sleeping, eating. But (!) when they got back from fishing, I slept again! Until finally Dad woke me up at 4 pm and we were out on the water. The previous day, Dad had caught his two Cod on the one lure, and thus I was apt to try it. We put the boat in at the boat ramp (was that necessary information?) and put our lures on soon after we were aboard, I with the Gold one Dad had used (which is now such a legend we named it "Old Gold"), and Dad with one that doesn't really deserve a mention. After around 10 minutes I felt a tug on my line and tugged back, I'd hooked a fish. Winding it in, and feeling it's fight (or lack thereof), I said to Dad, "It's not very big, it's not fighting real hard." But as colour became apparent in the greeny-brown waters of the lake, low and behold, I'd hooked a metaphorical horse!
It weighed in at 69.5 cm long and 15 pounds (or 7 kilos) heavy! Here's the picture:


Me with Ol' Mate (69.5cm, 7 kilos)


That is by far the biggest fish I've caught in my life! The rest of the trip was fairly un-eventful, I caught one more Cod, but not a keeper and no-where near as big as the one before it. I placed third in our Fishing Club (Morven Fishing Club)'s small scale competition and won a Burrinjuck Hat, which I wear proudly.


Looking forward to next year's trip to Burrinjuck, and I hope that I can catch Ol' Mate's bigger brother then.


Also, I'd like to give an embarrassing shout out to the person who's stayed on my mind the whole weekend, and given me 'jibberies' when I thought I was calm and collected. You know who you are.


Peace out Hombre's.

First Attempt at Blogging

So today I've set up a blog. I've never attempted this before and can already see it turning into the boring chronicles that will one day be my memories. Perhaps some interesting moments will occur, but how often? Fate will determine.

I'll use this opportunity to let my non-existant readers know exactly who and what I am.
My name is Brendan Anthony McFarlane, I'm at the present moment 16 years old. I am single, though this fact is subject to change, currently around 6"1', brunette and near sighted (or far, I can't remember, point is I have glasses). I am finishing up my eleventh year of education, which points me in grade 10, unless you believe in life long learning, in which case I'm in my sixteenth year.

I enjoy skateboarding and rap music, namely "Bliss N Eso". I also love wearing a suit and music from the 1940s. Call me diverse, but I enjoy a lot of different things.
My dream career is to be an actor in Musical Theatre, yes I can act, and yes I can sing. My favourite musical is Rent by Johnathon Larson.

Why have I started this blog?

I tend to do most of my everyday actions on impulse, sometimes these impulses pay off, giving me an opportunity to propel myself down the path of righteousness or whatever, but most of the time I trip on my shoelace and the path meets my face.

Perhaps I'll continue with this blog, adding memories in the form of pictures, articles and opinions, or maybe this is the beginning and the end, Alpha and Omega, Genesis and Armaggeddon. Who knows?